A new Paige!

After writing my last post I went in to see the Doctor. After the ultrasound the Doctor thought that our baby girl was going to be around 9 lbs 11 oz! Wow...that's a big ole' baby! So after a very painful amniocentesis (that was supposed to tell us if her lungs were developed enough to deliver, but ended up being inconclusive), my (awesome) Doctor decided to go ahead and induce me right away because apparently having a 10 pound baby isn't good for your body in later years. I guess I will find out since Griffin was just under 10 pounds when he was born!
I was induced around 3:30 p.m. on June 2nd and on June 3rd at 4:55 a.m. (my longest labor ever) Paige Joanna (middle named after my mom Joann) decided to make her appearance. At 8 lbs, 5 oz. I was happy that she didn't meet that 9 lb 11 oz the Doctor had predicted. However, 8,5 is pretty big for 37 weeks so I was happy to have her out of me!

She has a head full of black hair and doesn't look much like our other babies. She, like all my children, is gorgeous and I fell in love with her right away. I have this fear that because of this instant falling in love that I do with my children, that I may be a little like that Duggar woman. I really fear that I will never really be satisfied with the number of children I have. It's a good thing I have a sensible husband. I could easily be talked into a 5th! He, however seems to have more sense than that! Even when I read that post that I wrote last week I can convince myself so easily that it was worth every ache, pain and hormonal imbalance that it causes.
I am utterly and deeply in love with my children! All 4 of them!
I know people think I am "crazy" or "brave". Whatever you want to call it, I think it's blessed. I can't imagine my life without any of them. I do feel a sense of completeness in our home now. Rob said it best yesterday when he said "I can't explain it but I actually feel like a grown up now. Not somewhere in the middle."


Reese, Addison and Griffin tell us about every other minute how much they love their new baby sister. Reese says "She's the cutest baby I've never seen." I never thought it would be possible to love your 4th child as much as you love your first, but your heart just grows. I didn't have any expectations bringing her home. I just knew that whatever God had planned he would get us through it. We have a long way to go before we really know what Paige will bring into this family. She has already brought more love into our home... something I never thought was possible!

The End is Near

Well, the end is near. Today we find out when the Doctor will induce me. I am wondering do I now have to change the name of this blog, because mark my words, I am done being pregnant!

I do think that God does this to you so that you will do anything to get the baby out. What is "this" you wonder? Well, at the current moment, my feet have no ankles to accompany them! I pee about 5 or 6 times a night. Which wouldn't really be that bad if there was any possible way to get comfortable after I pee, but this huge belly makes it nearly impossible to get situated and by the time I do, I barely drift off and then I have to pee yet again. Laying on my back literally takes my breath away and walking up the stairs feels like walking a mile. Without all of these aches and pains and discomforts, I may be scared to death to push this baby out, but at this point, if they take this baby from my nose I will be happy, just get it out of me!

I am sure that one day not long from now, I will miss being pregnant. I will miss assisting God in this miracle. I do enjoy the little nudges and kicks. It's like a little secret language between me and the baby. She's just saying "Hey mom, I'm in here, don't get too busy and forget about me!". And who can pass up the opportunity to eat whatever you want and not feel guilty! Sure being pregnant does have its benefits. But I am nearing the end of my child baring years and I am happy to do so. Everyone says you just know when you are done and I know. This is what God had planned for our family. 4 kids in less than 5 years is good for me. I am done creating new children!

This post is intended for that day 2 years from now when all my friends are having newborns and I hold one and say "I want another one". I will hopefully (very quickly) come back to read this and remind myself that being pregnant is a long and difficult journey. The problem is that no matter how many babies I have, they will all grow up into little people and eventually adults. I am looking forward to assisting God in that miracle. The miracle of growing God fearing, loving, compassionate adults. It is afterall a miracle in this world isn't it?

Webster's Dictionary has one definition of pregnant: having possibilities of development. So with that in mind, I guess I am eternally pregnant. The possibility of development will always lie in how we grow our children!

A random day...

Last night I had a Thirty-One meeting and as soon as I got home Rob had to go into work until really late to spray greens (yes, he did that in the dark)! His plan was to sleep in this morning since he was planning to work until midnight. I woke up to the sound of him pulling out of the driveway at 5 a.m. I guess he wasn't sleeping in. I was bummed. My favorite days are ones were the kids come in and wake both of us by crawling into bed with us and then giggling because they aren't really tired. It seems like forever since we have had a morning like that!

Reese slept until almost 9:00 while Addison, Griffin and I came down in our PJ's (a rare occurrence in our home that we don't get dressed before making it down stairs). We had breakfast and read books all morning. At about 9:30 Griffin was ready for a nap and so was I. It's rainy here and we had no where to go.

Reese and Addison put on an hour and a half Dinosaur show for me in the living room. It was actually really good. We went to see Walking with Dinosaurs last week and they reenacted it remarkably well! The only problem was that I was having a hard time staying awake. This big ole' belly is starting to take it's toll on me. I heard Reese whisper to his sister "looks like mommy's tired, lets go downstairs and set up the stage for the big show tonight while she sleeps." Anyone with a 3 & 4 year old knows that you have to nap with one eye opened, which is what I did, but it was so peaceful! They did prepare a glorious stage for their show tonight! Really...it's amazing how their little minds work! There is a nest for the eggs and everything!

As I was trying to figure out what we were going to have for lunch, I realized we have nothing to eat in the entire house and I was starving and by this time so was Griffin (what's new!) I was creative and came up with something for the kids, but I really wanted Chinese food. So I called the place down the street (which I have never done before) if I had ever done that before I would know that I needed to order $10 of food for them to deliver. There is no way I can eat $10 worth of Chinese food and by this time I want it so badly I will do pretty much anything to get it. So I tell them I will be there to get it in 5 minutes. Well, thank goodness the Schwan man showed up right before we were going to leave because he informed me that I had a flat tire on my van. Darn it!! No Chinese for me!
Plan B a pint of Peanut Butter Passion from Schwan's. Yep that's my lunch after all, it has protein and dairy in it!
It has been a strange day, but I am going to take a nap while all the kids are sleeping....yes, another one! When you're 36 weeks pregnant and have 2 naps and a pint of ice cream in one day, there's really no way you can call it a bad day can you? Guess Rob will have a tire to change when he gets home, but hey, you can't have it all!

Exhausted and Overwhelmed

I think I have finally hit a wall. With 5 weeks left until baby #4 is due, I feel exhausted and overwhelmed by simple everyday tasks.

As of last week the baby is measuring a week and a half big and at my 30 week ultrasound she was almost 5 pounds. In a few weeks I will be having another ultrasound to see how big she is and at that time the doctor will decide when she will induce me.



I think we are ready. We have decided on a name (although we are keeping it a surprise), we have a new baby swing, a new car seat (who knew they expired?), and I even bought some diapers the other day. We still haven't arranged a bedroom or any arrangements for her to sleep, but that doesn't take much right? Griffin has been sleeping in a toddler bed in hopes that he will be ready to move into Reese's room by the time the baby is ready to move into the nursery. Last week Griffin decided to take his diaper off and poop on his floor...hopefully we can get past this stage before he moves in with Big Brother!

The truth is when I write it all down, it seems like we are pretty well prepared, but when I think about it I feel totally unprepared. I have been working a lot and May is such a busy month with Reese's school that I simply feel unprepared. I keep reminding myself that if every thing isn't in its place the baby will still come, she will still be loved, and the best part is she won't even remember what a wreck her mommy was through it all!

I've heard it said that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle, but right now I think God overestimated me! In just a few weeks we'll find out!!

My Reeser Beane

A collection of random thoughts about Reese at 4 years old!

Reese is turning into a little man every day. I can't believe his ability to comprehend the world around him. Even though I have (almost) 3 other children, I feel like Reese was just a baby yesterday. I remember how nervous we were when we brought him home. Once I remember Rob and I eating dinner and Reese was in the baby carrier and started one of the those gagging coughs that newborn babies do. Rob and I both jumped up and flipped him over about ready to do the Heimlich on him. Looking back the panic I remember feeling makes me giggle.

Another time I was in the shower and I heard Reese crying in his crib. He was probably 2 or 3 weeks old. I remember jumping out of the shower naked and dripping wet and running to get him. Now, here I stood, naked, dripping wet and getting ready to pick up my baby who was crying...what exactly was the plan here? I didn't have one, I simply wanted that sweet little boy to stop crying. I quickly realized that he could wait until I dried off and got dressed! Now, he seems to expect the same kind of service from us. Immediate response! I can't blame him, it seems we have trained him that way.

Because of how nervous we sometimes get with him he tends to be cautious. I think this is common of first children. He thinks things through before he does them. He doesn't like to try new foods. New experiences make him a little uneasy and he isn't a daredevil (which I embrace). The other day my dad wanted to take him for a ride on his golf cart and Reese wasn't having anything to do with it. After watching my dad take off as fast as it would go with it, I couldn't blame him! After watching his sister go for a ride, he did change his mind, but not before he observed very carefully!

He has an incredible way of delegating tasks to his brother and sister if he doesn't want to do them, but convincing them that he can do them if he wants to. This will become a very handy trait in later in life.

I've never met a kid more interested in science! He eagerly awaits his National Geographic magazine each month and at times prefers to watch National Geographic Channel or Animal Planet more than cartoons. If he does watch cartoons, they are typically science fiction type shows. I never thought I would allow him to watch some of them, but they feed his imagination and aren't violent so I can't see the harm!

Reese is such a lover! Yesterday I took him to the grocery store with me. It was the highlight of my day. He told me 3 or 4 times that he loved me and that he loved spending time with me! What a sweetheart! He has always been very appreciative of me! He is constantly telling me thank you for things I do that don't mean anything to the rest of the world. I remember one day when he was about 3 he said "thanks for putting the dishes away mom." Really??? He melts my heart! From that day on, I have never looked at putting the dishes away the same.

I pray all the time that his loving heart will never change. He will make some women very happy someday if he continues to have such a loving heart! I hate that he grows up so quickly, but I love watching who he is becoming! I can't imagine that will ever change!

No Batteries Required!

Addison yells with joy "Santa gave us these Reese"! Ummm....well, if Santa only knew! Today it is gorgeous outside! I have tried bribery, giving them water, shovels, bikes and sidewalk chalk. All of which have been rejected, but they have been playing with these boxes for at least an hour (inside of course)! I haven't even heard a single whine or gripe from either of them. Next year I think Santa might save some money and wrap up some boxes!



Griffin would stay outside all day if I would allow it. And I would be happy to do that if he didn't need so much supervision when he is outside. He wants to eat pretty much anything he can get his hands on! He is into everything! If I weren't 33 weeks pregnant, I know I would be enjoying his discoveries! I am officially exhausted right now though and he is officially into EVERYTHING!

Yesterday I caught him several times, in sneaking a bite to eat! I tried giving these to him in his high chair, but I think he was really enjoying eating right out of the box! Can't you see the remorse in his face?



If I can learn anything from these two things, it's this: the less I try to control them, the happier we all are!

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

I am so excited, (but more nervous) that I am traveling to L.A. on Wednesday! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! Thirty-One has offered me and 20 (or so) other top directors with the company to fly to L.A. to the Direct Selling Women's Association National Conferences all expenses paid!

You might think that I am nervous because I am flying while I am 32 weeks pregnant, but really that doesn't bother me at all. I am nervous because I am going to be gone for 6 whole days! What a long break from reality!

Rob will be home with the kids while I am gone. The time leading up to my leaving is full of preparations to make sure that things continue to run smoothly while I am gone. Getting groceries, arranging for child care, car pooling, meals, schedules, reminders, etc. Not to mention I have to shop and pack for myself! I think that these trips are great for me to attend because by the time I get to the day I am supposed to leave, I am so exhausted preparing to leave that I desperately need a break! I should be excited and looking forward to 6 whole days of not retrieving sipping cups and changing diapers, but that's really not the case!

I know that Rob is totally capable of taking care of the kids! He is very responsible, but there are so many things I do here that I think go unnoticed! I pride myself in our scheduled naps, eating and bed times. That's how we keep any sort of sanity around here. I know in my mind that for the next 6 days, there may or may not be lunch at 11:30, there may or may not be naps at 1:30, the kids may not be reminded to brush their teeth twice a day, and there probably will not be a vegetable served that isn't in the shape of a french fry or tomato sauce!

In my mind I know that this time away from me is actually good for them and me. I am pretty sure there is no other time in my life I will get 6 entire days to myself! But my heart says "No don't go, they NEED you!"

I am guessing that part of what makes me nervous is being all alone in my thoughts. That happens so rarely and I am so used to my little people filling up any white noise around me that I am not sure how I will just simply relax and focus on me!

The time that the kids will get with Rob is important! I love that they can see their dad taking care of things and even though he doesn't do it the way I would do it, he does it great! If I could just get past the guilt that mother's tend to carry when we do anything for ourselves...I would actually enjoy this little trip of mine and know that when I get back I will still be needed! After all, those groceries that I got will run out eventually!